You gave me a picture Lord, a picture of you trying to give me your gift of unconditional love.
But before I receive it, I have taken out my ledger book, my book of rules for perfection and gone through it – ticking off whether I am deserving of it.
Most times, I hand the gift back to you with the words: “Sorry , I’m not good enough.”
What’s even more distressing, is that I feel a sense of pride at how I strong I am not ‘needing’ the gift you want to give.
How much have I done this with my relationships and friendships?
Living life in the unconditional love of Jesus.
Not living in shame or my own strength anymore.
Receiving the gifts you give me Jesus without rejecting them.
I am sorry Lord at how I have rejected your love. I am sorry Lord at how I have hidden from your embrace, denying all you have done on the cross for me.
Oh Lord to receive your love, it seems as foreign a concept as breathing underwater!
As if I am on one side of a chasm and your love is on the other without any means of getting across.
I have avoided or sidestepped your love. I am frightened of it, because I cannot understand how you could love a broken one like me.
Redeem me Lord.
Show me how to understand, how to receive and live in your love.
A love that never fails.
A love I really need.
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