One doesn’t realise one is hiding until the light shines and hope begins to grow.
I had a picture of me in the room of preparation, hiding beneath a table in the shadows. Hiding from Jesus. Hiding from the pain in my own strength.
When God is refining us, his holy fire of love purifies. It truly hurts when the old is turned to ash, but our spirit is kept safe.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze..” Isaiah 43:2.I think this verse also relates to God redeeming things in our lives - at times we are overwhelmed with the reality of sin and brokenness - but we do not drown. At times the pain of trusting Jesus, holding onto him and walking into his truth and healing can feel like a searing of the soul, but we are not burnt.
The problems come when we try and walk through the refining on our own, in our own strength, to sort it out and try and understand it all in our own understanding and wisdom. When we do it on our own, we do drown, we do get burnt, we hide.
I have been hurting and hiding from you Jesus.
I am frightened that you do not care, that you do not see my pain and you will not help to stop it.
I hide because in my own strength I cannot deal with these things and I am frightened of being weak of falling apart.
Trusting you Jesus in my brokenness. Believing you in places where you feel distant and your purpose seems unclear. Not hiding from the pain and grief, not succumbing to fear, but believing and trusting in the character and love of Jesus that I know.
I have hidden from your presence Jesus. I have hidden from your word.
Help me hold onto your grace. Help me remember when I felt you close and the special times we shared, when you showed yourself so clearly to me.’
‘
I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow’.
God IS faithful.
God does NOT change.
WE are and will be different yesterday, today and tomorrow. Help me to trust you when circumstances speak differently.
In those dark places, help me know you are there carrying me.
My ever loving, ever faithful God. My redeemer.
Bring me out from under this table.
I do not want to hide from you any longer.
Comments